Tuesday, March 29, 2011

bagels & coffee...

a while back, our family of 3 went through a difficult season of life. we had about a 6 month stint where we would travel about 1 1/2 hours (1 way) on Sunday morning to go to church. that is a long drive with a 5 year old. but it made the decision easier when Ty would say on Saturday night, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "let's go to _______ church." so we would make the journey. all 3 of us excited to hear from God.

i will be honest, in the many years of going to church, I sometimes don't want to go and sometimes I don't "feel" God - which is fine. but in this particular season I speak of, during those 6 months, God would always meet all 3 of us. whether it was worship, or the message, or during a time of meditation and reflection and communion, the tangible presence of God would meet us and strenghten our hearts during that season. God would even show up the minute we walked in the door as we consumed the free bagels and coffee....somehow, God was in every bite and every drink. my husband Andy would find himself in the midst of a difficult week saying, "if I can just get to the bagels & coffee....i can connect with God..."

sometimes God is in bagels & coffee, the drive to work, a walk, a nap, a friend, a song, a movie, etc. sometimes we have challenging seasons, where we have prayed until we have no more words and cried until we have no more tears and we just have to say, "God, meet me in this coffee..." and he does. I don't know how, but he does.

if you find yourself in a tough season - and you are out of prayers and tears and are not sure what else to do....make a cup of coffee and prepare to meet with God....

Friday, March 25, 2011

waves on our toes...

the ball continues to move forward for the adoption. as i spoke with my adoption agent this week, here is her current update:

we can pay the next invoice of $1,300 (which we have). at that time she will give us documents to begin filling out our dossier (short for filling out tons of paper work for the US government & Korean government). within these documents we HAVE to show roughly $27,000 in our bank to prove we have the funding for this adoption (after paying the dossier, we will have $600 still in the bank).

so God is good. the ball continues to roll forward. it is not as fast as we may want, but none the less it is still moving. God is providing as we need it. we have the funds for the next step. we continue to do all we can with the possible and are trusting God with the impossible.

i was thinking about Moses and the Red Sea. Moses led the people to the edge of the Red Sea. I am sure the waves were rolling up onto the shore and splashing on Moses toes. at that moment he had done ALL he could do. the edge of the water, that was his possible; and now he looked to God to part the sea. so Andy, Tysen and I continue to move forward to the "Red Sea." we will pay the next invoice and begin the dossier and trust God that in that moment when we feel the waves are beginning to hit our toes, that God will provide and part our Red Sea...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

bringing heaven to earth...

Tysen I have a surprise for you tomorrow! "I know what it is mom, you're gonna get little sister tonight and lay her next to me while I am sleeping." ( I must admit this made me cry a little). I wish honey, but not yet; how about Disney world? I just smiled...

About 3 weeks ago we were having dinner with some friends of our's and they had invited over another couple whom we had never met. We had an awesome time. When the evening was concluding the husband of the couple we had never met said, ya know, if guys guys would like to take Ty to Disney world I can get you in for FREE! My heart jumped with excitement. Ty has been asking to go for months but, in the middle of adopting a baby and going over sea's this summer there is no spare change...

So this past Friday, we had the day off. We packed our backpack full of snacks and we were off to the Magic Kingdom. It was seriously one of the most fun days of our life. Some of the comments made throughout the day by Ty were: "this is the best day of my life" & "splash mountain rules" & "can we come back to tomorrow?" There was a ton of dancing going on too (by Tysen). It gets better; about mid afternoon, the couple that had us over to dinner told told us they would be at Magic Kingdom with there grand kids and wanted to meet us at the castle to give Ty a gift. When got there my friend hands over an envelope with Ty's name on it with 50 Disney dollars; to buy ice cream, souvenirs or anything else his little heart would desire! I know - amazing!

God is good. In the midst of all the turmoil and suffering in the world; in the midst of the stress of how are we going to pay for this adoption; and the list goes on and on. In the midst of all this some sweet people who love God chose to give us an amazing day where all the stress seemed a billion miles away (probably because we were at the happiest place on earth). I want to be that kind of person. To spread the good news of Jesus and to see people in stressful situations and to help relieve the stress. To do what I can to bring a smile to peoples faces... There is so much saddness right now, and I am not sure the world is going to get better, but we need to do what we can do, to bring heaven to earth in someone's life!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

broken, scared, & afraid....

it's going to happen...

So this is Andy writing today. I am Rachel's husband. Paxton's dad to be. I believe Rachel shared with you in the past about an email from our adoption agency sharing how Korea is now wanting the money to be shown up from for our adoption. That in our son Tysen's adoption, we could pay each amount financially as we needed it (example: $300 then $2,500 then $7,000 etc). But with Paxton, after this current stage, we need to have the balance of $27,000 in our bank or we are "done." Stop. Can't move forward.

So last night @ about 10 pm we got a 2nd email from her. She confirmed we were up to date on all our paper work and that it had been submitted to the main branch in New York. And then, again, the email concluded with, "and they did of course ask me how you propose to pay for the adoption and if you have ALL the money." I thought it was going to be about June before we came around to this again. But here we are in March. At a road block and I need to answer. Obviously, for me, my answer is "God is going to provide." However, that probably would not be all too comforting for my adoption agent.

This past month (as you are probably aware), a friend of ours put together a raffle to help us raise money for the adoption. The raffle raised $2,500; which helped us pay for the home study which is Stage 2? However, stage 3 is now going to be $27,000. Everything. Not broken down as they have done for years, but ALL of the finances = now.

So last night, as I went to bed after this email & I was a broken person; humbled, scared, excited, and yet confident all mixed into one ball. Not confident in me, but confident in God, that as I and my family obey him – he is going to be faithful. Not exactly knowing how this adoption was going to happen, but knowing that it is going to happen! Now, that is scary, because I am kind of throwing myself & my God out in front of a bus – but is that not what faith in God is. Trusting Him to do what He says when we live in obedience, even when it looks like humanly speaking the situation is hopeless?

So the new proposed deadline is the end of March 2011. Yes, 15 days away. Approximately 2 weeks away! March 31, 2011.

I don’t know how this adoption is going to happen, but it is going to happen….

Monday, March 14, 2011

God is watching..........

So today I was at a park with that had a fountain kids could play in... Ty was playing was little girl his age and a little boy a little older than him. All of a sudden a fancy lady walks over to me and says, "is that your little girl ( pointing at Ty )?" She ovipusly did not really look at him, he looks nothing like a girl! Anyway, she goes on to ask me, "could you watch my kids; I have to go get something?" At first I just stared at her thinking, are you nuts? You do not know me? Do you watch the nightly news? What is wrong with you? But what came out of my mouth was "sure!" After awhile she came back ( I must admit the thought entered my mind is she going to come back? ) As she walked by in her bikini top she waved and said thanks then proceeded to tell her children she would be @ the pool which was a ways away from the fountain. I am not going to judge her. Maybe she was desperate for a moment; I'm not gonna try to wrap my mind around it... After that situation I have been thinking about protecting our kids, some would say that I am a little over prtective. When Ty was 2 and we were living in long beach Cali, we were part of a church plant. Sometimes our meetings were held in the pastors apartment on the 18th floor which had open windows and no screens. So before we would enter I would look around to make sure the windows were shut. If they were not I had a harness I would put on Ty, so he could play but if he got near the window I could pull him back...hahaha My friend Craig used to tease that my kids would have to put helmets on my kids before I would let them leave the house, :) yes I am protective, can I protect him all the time no, is he going to get hurt? Yes! We have to give our kids to God daily but it is an attribute of God in us to want to protect our kids. our friends kids, and kids we don't know. I think this is hard when walking through adoption. Pax is out there, but I can not see her. I can not wipe her tears. I can not keep things that could harm her away; but praise God he can. God cares for everyone from the child who is hurt in Japan....to the lonely baby in a crib in China...to the little child who has fallen off their bike in Hunington Beach....and the kindergartner being bullied in New York. God cares and is watching over our children even when we can't!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

returning to me...

As most of you know Andy & I work with Youth With A Mission in Orlando, FL.
Today I just woke up feeling so blessed to be a part of this mission. I wake up with this feeling a lot. :) You see, we do not really have much stuff, and sometimes I look around and think wow I should have way more stuff by now! But when I really think about it, there is nothing I want... The things we give up to be in missions are no camparesent to me, it is not for everyone but we are blessed. We are here and we are grateful.
Almost 2 years ago I went thru a season where I felt like I had no clue who I was anymore. My goofy bubbley personality was becoming sad & isolated. It was a really sad lonely place for me because I stepped out of the things that fulfill me most. Those 2 things are being in full time missions and adopting children. Coming back to YWAM was the first step for us to get back on track. And now, adopting baby Paxton. I never want to take for granted the calling God has placed on my life. I will go where God calls me and adopt as many kids as I possibly can - because that is who I am :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

thanks in the closing hours...

Thank you...and its NOT over yet!

Happy Sunday everyone! Just wanted to thank you all so much for getting involved in this raffle & helping us get a few steps closer to getting PAXTON. And a SPECIAL thank you to Alissa Circle for her coordination and sacrifice to make this happen!

We know that it was a strech for alot of you to give and we do not take take that lightly at all. We still have a ways to go to reach our goal by May 2011, but we are encouraged. As was once said, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step" - and we feel that this raffle got us off to a running star!

PS - you can still get yourself & others in on the raffle! And remember, when the raffle ends, the paxton project continues (should it need to)!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Priceless...

We have all seen the commercials 5 dollars for sunscreen, 20 dollars for ponchos, 50 dollars for souvenirs, a day at Disney with the fam priceless!
There is a price tag for everything...
Our adoption for our little Paxton has a cost 30 thousand dollars, can you put a price tag on a child of course not.. Not in my book... One day I was walking thru the mall @ millinia here in Orlando as I walked by Tiffany's I thought to my self there are people spending more than 30 thousand on rings and ear rings and necklaces, across the street from the mall there is a BMW dealer, I thought 30 thousand would not even touch a new BMW. Is it bad to buy these things? No. That is not what I am saying. I guess my thought 30 thousand for a little helpless human that is priceless... I am so encouraged about the money that has come in so far through this raffle.  People ask me what if you do not get enough what will you do?  Not worried. Giving up is not an option for the Miller's.  We are in this for the long haul...
Last night some friends of ours were over and we were praying asking God about thepaxtonproject, my friend Joel got the passage psalms 24 the first verse just hit me, "the earth is the Lords and everything in it." How awesome Paxton is on this earth and she is God's & he wants me to have her even more than I want her ( hard to imagine but true ) that my friends is where my peace and excitement come from today...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

God knows Paxton...

"...Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." - Jeremiah 1:5

God knows Paxton. I know this is hard for us to wrap our minds around, but I believe the Bible; and in the Bible God says he knows us even before we are being shaped and designed by the hand of God in the womb. It causes me to wonder: the face, the eyes, the character, the personality, the laugh, the dreams....everything than God pours into us to make us who we are...it makes me wonder about my baby Paxton. Who will Paxton be? Who's life will be touched by Pax? Who will be loved by Pax? Who will laugh and be given life because of Pax?

God knows Paxton, and I can't wait to know Paxton too.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

10:37 EST - fundairser update

Day 2 of the Paxton Project fundraiser is almost @ its conclusion here on the east coast. Check out our current total raised so far to the right of the page and continue to spread the word!

Fundraiser Tracker....

As you well know, The Paxton Project is currently in the midst of a raffle raising funds for our current adoption. To stay in touch with how things are going in this process and how much still needs to be raise, please follow the "donation tracker" thermometer to the right of the page.