Your Getting a New Family...

"But, then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all. In fact, it's unlike any other. It comes from a deep, empty place in your heart that can only be filled by a mother." And after today, I will never again hear that sad song coming from you. Your getting adopted, your getting a mother, and your getting a family too!..."

This is a page taking from a book called "Shaoey & Dot". It is a book about the journey of a baby in Asia who is waiting to be adopted by a family. Ty pulled it out this week and has been asking us to read it to him. He points @ the pictures of babies with "almond shaped eyes" and says "look at all the Korean babies!" And together, we think of Paxton and pray for Paxton and talk about Paxton.

That day is coming. The day when it will be said of Paxton - "..Your getting adopted, your getting a mother, and your getting a family too!..." Thank you again for all of you that continue to pray, give, believe, and fight for Paxton and the joy that we see ahead of us in uniting us as a family!

Batman, Spiderman, Superman and "Super Moms"

So Tysen starts school Monday, he has had a little anxiety about going to school all day & to be honest so have I. Since he is my only child, I almost don’t know what to do with myself when my little side kick is away. Tysen told me in a very sad voice “Mom, I’m kind of excited to go to school, but I’m gonna miss you.” It took everything in me to not let him see that I was choked up. I smiled & said well Ty how am I supposed do my super hero job during the day if you don’t go to school, with a little confusion he smiled, later that night he said “ mom I’m not sure that I want you to be fighting crime.” I said “oh, well, my super powers are to help sad & lonely people, what do you think about that” ? He responded “oh well that’s good mom, are you still going to fight crime”? My response “only if it gets in my way” 
I am so thankful for such a sweet little boy (most of the time ). He can be as naughty as all get out at times too. But none the less he’s mine & I love him bushels. Sometimes with adoption you look at your child and can’t even imagine the life they could have had & just praise God they are with you. Although I’m excited for Ty to go to school & to be working at ywam more and planning the outreach to London for the Olympics; I am not done being a mommy. I’m so ready for Pax to come. Please keep praying. We have been seeing some breakthrough. The thing that is hard for me & I daily have to give it to the Lord is that my little Pax is sitting in an orphanage and all’s I can do is pray... Please keep praying. We need still need 16 thousand dollars; we are just about half way... Please pray that we can raise $5,000 dollars in the next couple of weeks so we can move on to the next phase. Maybe even get a picture of Pax, and pray that as we apply for grants that the favor of God will be on us… thanks again friends!

4 dollars & a stamp...

We recently got home from a trip to Michigan where we visited some friends and family and spoke in 2 different churches about our adoption process. Upon our arrival back to Orlando, we checked in our mail box; there was a card from a woman in Las Vegas. She had been reading one of her friends blogs and it led her to our blog / website. She said she was compelled and moved by our story and our vision of raising $30,000 to adopt a baby. She said she sent us all the cash that was in her wallet. It was $4. Are you kidding me! Someone you hear about on the internet, and you send them all the money in your wallet. People don't do that in 2011. Sometimes a begger on the street can't get 20 cents for a cup of cold cheap coffee and this beautiful woman sent our family $4. I am humbled and brought to brokeness that someone would do this for me. Truely, this reflects the love and heart of God even greater that another sermon and lecture....and this is just one of many who have given. You all are amazing people! You have given amounts from 34 cents up to $2,500. And we are humbled and grateful. Please continue to pray and spread the word as our goal gets closer and closer.

what if...

I have hacked into my wife's account to blog today. I have a blog of my own, but people actually read hers...so here I am!

Facebook recently announced that there are approximately 750 million active users of facebook. 50% of those people log on daily. The average user has 130 friends....and all of us facebook users combined, apparently spend over 700 billion minutes a day on facebook....the point = there are A LOT of people on facebook!

As was stated last week, Rachel and I have laid our pride on the alter in order to adopt Paxton. I know we have thrown out statistics and giving options and appeals and needs on a somewhat weekly basis. Thank you to all who have given and prayed.

There is an old German saying that goes something to the effect of, "Everyone doing a little, makes the work easy." So here is a new concept in helping us continue to raise funds for our adoption:

If 1,000 - of the supposed 750 million users - posted the link to give to the adoption on their facebook page and just 22 of their friends donated $1 - our goal would be reached! Crazy concept I know. But what if it worked! Our current president raised millions of dollars by asking American families for $5 donations. This is just $1 - and this would change the history of a child forever!

Just share the link from mine or Rachel's facebook page and that will take your friends to our website where they can give! www.thepaxtonproject.com

Thanks again for listening to our hearts!!

money, money, money.....

I was recently at a YWAM meeting and the speaker made this comment - "to God, money is just paper passing through the hands of people." It seems a little more important to us, right?

June 6, 011 @ 11:19 am - I just received an email from our adoption agent again... Pax is waiting & it is breaking my heart along with frustration that there are so many kids waiting because of money. She says, as soon as paper work and money is in place, children are being placed into families! Our paper work is in place = we only need money.

This is sooo humbling for me & puts me in a very vulnerable place but I'm asking any way. Any pride I have is going out the window and I'm giving my all to the adoption [I'm sure there is some pride in there somewhere]. This morning I had the thought what if 22 people or 22 communities or 22 churches - committed to give or take offerings for or give a gift of $1,000 each. We would be able to get Paxton fast!! I have a place to live. I have plenty of love. I have food. I have a community that will love Paxton & teach her what life in Christ is. I have a husband & son who want a daughter & little sis more than anything. Most of all I have a mother’s heart - longing for this baby... All that I am lacking is money - sad right....

We are asking, calling, sending emails, Face booking our friends, families, churches, businesses, grant organizations, etc... If you know a church, a business, a small group...anyone....who would be interested please, please, please let me know ASAP! Or prayerfully consider sharing our story with them and grant them the privilege to give financially.

THANK YOU ALL as you have given & prayed & encouraged us - we don't take it for granted. I am gratefully to call you friends.

Urgency to Pray...

Today I write with an urgency to pray! As many of you know we have passed our deadline to get the money for our adoption more than once… God has been with us…. How in the world we have gotten this far is only by God’s grace. I guess God meant what he said in Bible - that he loves orphans & is very passionate about adoption..

I wrote our adoption agent earlier this week and told her that we have 8 thousand dollars towards this adoption. I asked, "is there anyway we we can keep going?" I received a email late last night & with my heart beating and dropping into my stomach I opened it. She said that all she can say is that we need the money & the TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!

We have done the paper work, our meeting with the bank on Monday so they can write us a "good standing letter." We will schedule our physicals on Tuesday that we need to get done. We have done our part. We have prayed, fasted, mailed letters, done fundraisers, etc. And yet, we will continue until the last second to do all we can to continue to make this happen.

It is scary. Yet there is peace in our home. This is what this family is designed to do. It is the word of the Lord to our family. I love the passage in scripture that says something to the effect of, "...when you have done all you know to do - stand..." This family will stand. We will not run. Sometimes pursuing the kingdom of God & opposing the kingdom of darkness involves prayer. And sometimes opposing the kingdom of darkness involves continuing to move forward in obedience to God. That is where the Miller family is at. Fear, doubt, worry, words of discouragement, etc. we stare all those things in the face and continue to move forward in Jesus name - in full obedience to "care for orphans..."

Friends. Please continue to pray and be the voice you have been. We still need $22,000 to complete our adoption. My agent said, "as soon as paper work goes through and families show they have the money, Korea is RELEASING children quickly!" Paxton is waiting!! Waiting for us!!

Thank you all for standing by us and loving us with all your hearts. Every word, email, text, Facebook note - gives life and hope to us!!

stay the course...

Have you ever embarked on something bigger than yourself and thought, “how in the world is this ever going to happen?” That the thought of it not happing is crushing? Well, I am in that place. You may be saying, “I thought deadline for Korea was over a month ago?” Well it was but for some reason things keeps happening to give us more time. Right now we have to have a back ground check from the state of Michigan & California which is giving us more time. This past month has been interesting. I have gone through so many emotions; from not being able to talk about this adoption and holding back from letting myself engage in it due to sadness & fear of disappointment. Concern that it just won't happen; and praying & going back to the Lord asking the question do you want us to change adoptions &countries? This was heart wrenching for me. But one thing is true: God is faithful & his timing is perfect. It helps that at this time I am seeing awesome provisions for the ministry we work for & a lot of my friends here at Youth With A Mission. This encourages me daily. There is provision out there. As Andy & I have taken this before the Lord we feel strongly we are not to switch adoption countries, but to keep moving forward and to keep walking in faith that the sea will part. As we refuse to give up - please refuse to give up with us. I know the day I hold Pax in my arms heaven will rejoice & the turmoil of waiting will be a distant memory. In my experience when you have to wait for something you don't take it for granted. Keep praying & trusting. If you know anyone who would be willing to help us get this baby please do not hesitate to give them our info or get them in contact with us. Thank you for coming on the journey with us; it’s a wild ride!!

friend for life...

When I was 16 years old, one of my first dates with Andy was to pick up his best friend Ezra at the airport. I knew Ezra but this time he was bringing a girlfriend with him & all's I knew was that she had red hair. Little did I know it was one of most life changing nights of my life. You see I wasn't so sure about this red head, but the minute she got in the car we started to laugh. Of course Ezra ( her husband now ) wanted to stop at taco bell, Rhonda & I laughed the whole way home talking about disgusting taco bell experiences...I told her that night I am going to marry Andy Miller and sure enough we both married this pair of best friends.

Since then Rhonda & I have walked thru so many things together. One time we were in India ( ok if you have a week stomach stop reading now) I was very sick in a really gross Indian hospital and they needed a feces sample. I was so sick I could not get it in the cup so Rhonda just picked it up with her bare hands and put it in the cup for me, talk about a true friend...

I have been there through her pregnancies she has been their through my adoption. When we did not live near each other and I was walking through some dark times, Rhonda would call me sometimes 3 times a day to make sure I was ok :) I could tell story after story of the love this girl gives. There are very few friendships in this world that are true but this friendship is one of the greatest gifts God has given me..

Today Rhonda is in the hospital with her precious 2 year Amiah who goes through more in one day than many of us in a lifetime. Rhonda found out today that Amiah after having a kidney removed has stage 3 cancer. Any parent would say that those are heart wrenching words to hear. I can honestly say that Rhonda is my hero, she walks in the love & joy of Jesus. She pastors everyone she meets; the hospitality and love you feel in her home is unmistakable. She draws you in and radiates Jesus to all she comes in contact with. Really and many would agree there is no one like her. Please pray with for Rhonda & Ezra, Amiah ( kadesh & zuzu ) this family makes the darkness tremble and they love the Lord & defend the weak, now they need some defending. So please go to the throne with me and cry out for the Griffiths Family...

the i-600....

...so we had an exciting moment this week...well, exciting if you take the time to really process and think about it. we were given our 1-600 documents this week. what is that? well, I will tell you....it is basically an "Orphan Petition." for adults, when they want to come into the United States, an adult foreigner can file a document saying "can I come into your country and live there?"

Now Paxton is not old enough to make an appeal. So we are making the appeal for Paxton. We are saying, "I petition to the US Government to allow this little orphan come into the United States of America. This orphan is fully welcomed into our family and we will: provide for, care for, love on, defend, fight for, and meet every need that this little one has. We committ to 100% resonsability of this child..."

That so excites us! It makes me think about God who says "He is a defender of the weak..." This little one has been abandoned to some degree, and we get the honor of stepping in and saying, "No one wants Pax? We want Pax! We will be the defender of Pax!...

Please continue to pray with us as we petition for this little one and continue to "raise" the finances neeeded to cover all avenues of our adoption!

Our Little Miracle...

Well here I go… I have not written on here in a while. It is not that I have been discouraged it is just the simple fact that I really haven't known what to say….
I believe with all my heart we are going to get Pax; NO matter what we are adopting a baby and we will name that baby Paxton [so all of you that like to gank my names go ahead I'm still naming my baby Pax] :) [no bitterness I mean I do pick amazing names] :) I may be nuts but we are “YWAMers” & we see miracles every day. Young people who long to share Jesus with the world but cannot afford a plane ticket; then the money shows up and a nation is changed…

My friend who has a child with tumors all over their body one day and then the next day they go to the doctor & the tumors are gone! a 198 acre property being provided so that hundreds of thousands of missionaries can be trained & sent to the mission field! Story after story in our mission of the faithfulness of God! My heart aches thinking that this baby may not be from Korea. We have prayed & felt like our baby is supposed to be from Korea but we need a miracle. Please pray with us. A lot of you have given and we are beyond grateful - but I am asking for prayer; prayer will turn this around & bring a miracle. Pray - and I believe God will speak! He may even speak names of people you could tell about Pax.... When we adopted Ty we were not in alone. There were hundreds of people who prayed and gave - the same goes with Pax. We cannot do this alone; we are dealing with a government not our own; we are dealing with an orphanage on the other side of an ocean…

If you read this - please pray that our miracle will get a chance at life!

bagels & coffee...

a while back, our family of 3 went through a difficult season of life. we had about a 6 month stint where we would travel about 1 1/2 hours (1 way) on Sunday morning to go to church. that is a long drive with a 5 year old. but it made the decision easier when Ty would say on Saturday night, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "let's go to _______ church." so we would make the journey. all 3 of us excited to hear from God.

i will be honest, in the many years of going to church, I sometimes don't want to go and sometimes I don't "feel" God - which is fine. but in this particular season I speak of, during those 6 months, God would always meet all 3 of us. whether it was worship, or the message, or during a time of meditation and reflection and communion, the tangible presence of God would meet us and strenghten our hearts during that season. God would even show up the minute we walked in the door as we consumed the free bagels and coffee....somehow, God was in every bite and every drink. my husband Andy would find himself in the midst of a difficult week saying, "if I can just get to the bagels & coffee....i can connect with God..."

sometimes God is in bagels & coffee, the drive to work, a walk, a nap, a friend, a song, a movie, etc. sometimes we have challenging seasons, where we have prayed until we have no more words and cried until we have no more tears and we just have to say, "God, meet me in this coffee..." and he does. I don't know how, but he does.

if you find yourself in a tough season - and you are out of prayers and tears and are not sure what else to do....make a cup of coffee and prepare to meet with God....

waves on our toes...

the ball continues to move forward for the adoption. as i spoke with my adoption agent this week, here is her current update:

we can pay the next invoice of $1,300 (which we have). at that time she will give us documents to begin filling out our dossier (short for filling out tons of paper work for the US government & Korean government). within these documents we HAVE to show roughly $27,000 in our bank to prove we have the funding for this adoption (after paying the dossier, we will have $600 still in the bank).

so God is good. the ball continues to roll forward. it is not as fast as we may want, but none the less it is still moving. God is providing as we need it. we have the funds for the next step. we continue to do all we can with the possible and are trusting God with the impossible.

i was thinking about Moses and the Red Sea. Moses led the people to the edge of the Red Sea. I am sure the waves were rolling up onto the shore and splashing on Moses toes. at that moment he had done ALL he could do. the edge of the water, that was his possible; and now he looked to God to part the sea. so Andy, Tysen and I continue to move forward to the "Red Sea." we will pay the next invoice and begin the dossier and trust God that in that moment when we feel the waves are beginning to hit our toes, that God will provide and part our Red Sea...