"Rags to Stitches " - raffle Kick Off

About a month ago, I was feeling discouraged and overwhelmed about our adoption, like it was to big for me and that it was to much. At the same time in California, on the other side of the country, God was speaking to my friend Alissa about how she could help us with our adoption.

Today is the start of a raffle to help fund our adoption of Paxton. Alissa has put a lot of time and effort into this out of response to God speaking to her heart. Please click on the link "Rags to Stitches" @ the right of this page to see how you can help. And don't be afraid to pass on the word!

family & friends = "Gotcha Day Celebration"

the day that changed history...

Who was Han Shim? Han Shim was a little orphan boy who was born may 25th 2005. He was abandoned by his birth parents, his destiny was uncertain. Would he live in an ophanage; would he get put into foster care; or ???? well we do not need to worry about that; because 5 years ago TODAY, February 24th, 2006 - Han Shim was adopted brought into our family given a new name, a hope, a new life and a new destiny! Praise God. It sounds a lot like the God we serve...He adopted us and gave us a new life and a new destiny..Happy "Gotcha Day" Ty - so glad we "Gotcha"

Chick-fil-A , Jackie Chan, and ninjas....

With all the talk of a little sister coming from Korea, it has raised all kinds of questions for the little set of ears in our house. Ty has always known he is adopted; he tells people he is from Korea and his little mind (probably from all the prayer he has had) seems to understand it. About a year ago we were at a Chick-fil-A; Ty was playing with some kids in the play area when he came out sobbing. I asked what had happend, and with huge alligator tears he replied, "those boys are telling me I am from Chineese!" My first response was, "well that just shows how much they know because you are from Korea remember? And you are mine and I am never going leave you." With a smile and a chuckle he ran back into play.

In moments like that I pray that God will give me wisdom to bring the anwers that bring love & healing not harm. Since then Ty has been asked by kids if he was Jackie Chan; if he is a ninja and other silly things. Ty just smiles. The other day Ty asked me if he was in my belly, my heart sunk as I prayed "God help." God gave me the perfect thing to say, to be truthful yet bring peace and comfort to his little heart.
Ty has been listening to some Korean teenagers sing children songs. He said to me, "mom, it seems like a mommy and daddy would have found them by now. Can we get them?" I pray that the understanding he has will continue and grow throughout the process of getting Paxton, that he will see the love we have for him is so strong that race, culture, nothing could keep us apart

jesus and santa clause...

But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."
I love the idea that Jesus is all about children. The disciples were busy. They were doing ministry. They were telling people about the ways of Jesus. They were working hard and they didn’t have time for the kids. The Bible says that the disciples scolded and rebuked the parents for trying to have their children sit on the lap of Jesus. The parents knew to bring their children to the lap of Jesus.
I have been to the mall. Sometimes Santa Clause is at the mall. Children sit on Santa’s lap. I have never seen an elf turn a child away from Santa’s lap. But the disciples turned the children away. But Jesus said, “no, let the little ones come unto me.” Sad, the disciples didn’t have time to love the children. But Jesus had time. Santa Clause has time. Do I have time?
Don’t get busy. Don’t get prideful. Don’t be so about your life that there is no time for the children; your children; the child at church with no family; your grandchildren; the orphans of the world. Find a child and be like Jesus – allow them to come. Don’t send them away because of your schedule.

heavy heart...

Well, I have not written on here in a couple of days. I must admit I haven’t felt like doing anything. Have you ever had a heavy heart? Worries over take you and you just feel like laying down in your sadness… Well that was me this weekend. Sometimes when you step out in faith to do something big, that is when you better be ready to fight because it feels like all hell will breaking loose. Tonight I went to Status, our church here in Orlando (see video clip). I walked in with a heavy heart not feeling like worshiping, not feeling like lifting my hands, not feeling like handing my worry over to God. Isaiah 61:3 says, [He gives us] “a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” - it is so true. As I lifted my hands and worshiped my creator, I felt the heaviness lift (Thank you God)! We are adopting a baby. I have no clue how I am going to get $30,000 by May 1st, but I know I am not going to give in to a spirit of heaviness. I will lift my hands to God and praise him! I want to encourage you: what sadness are you in right now? God wants to lift it off of you…. Don’t lay in it like I did, praise him and get it off!

Status - 2.13.11

Get Your Own Free Hypster.com Playlist.

the heartbeat of God...

Creation Groans from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

mr. miller...

There are a lot of great men in the world, who have accomplished many things. Men who have created inventions to make our life easier; good looking actors that may be pleasing to the eye; politicians (well that is all I will say about that); men who can fix and build things; men who have changed history.
I just have to say that out of all the men in the world God knew exactly what he was doing when he brought Andy Miller into my life. When I was 18 I told my husband to be, “I really want to adopt kids.” As a fellow missionary, he was not opposed to the idea but he told me o.k. - because he thought I was a hottie. Through the years, he has been the one who has pulled me through the times when I feel like it is to hard or it cost too much money or doubt fills my mind. He is constantly reminding me what the word of the Lord is to us and pushing us forward in our dreams. Ladies and Gentleman I would shout it from the roof tops that I love my husband! Although we are so far from perfect, he has proven to me over and over his unconditional love for me. Even in the hard times when he could have chose position in ministry, or other opportunities that would not give me and Tysen an outlet to be who we are, he has turned them down until things have come along that we can work together in. Today we work together @ Youth With A Mission and let me tell you it, was worth the wait.
So Mr. Miller, as we move forward in ministry, adopting children and going to the utter most parts of the world - I look forward to doing it hand in hand with you.

if we care for orphans, God will show up...

Christian Alliance for Orphans from New Vision Productions on Vimeo.

nightly prayers with Tysen...

tysen's first game of the second season... (Saturday)

the voice of screaming children...

 About 7 years ago I was at a church (of all places).  We were about half way through our adoption process with Tysen.  The service had ended and I was walking in the foyer when a lady said to me, “Why don’t you have your own, it is cheaper?”  At first I just felt shocked and offended.  I believe that I just smiled and walked away.   Since that day I have thought of all kinds of come backs:   Have you read the bible?  Why are you so mean?  That is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me!   I know that was childish of me.  We all say or think things that we are not proud of when we are hurt.  But after many years of thinking about it and everything our family has walked through, if I encountered that behavior today, I boldly would say, “because God told me too and it the deepest desire of my heart.”

When I was 18 I had the privilege of going on a 2 month outreach to India with Youth With A Mission.  I had no idea the impact it would have on my life.  The thing I remembered most was a 30 hour train ride. This was not Amtrak.  It was hot.  It smelled bad.  And there were eunuchs sitting across from me the whole trip.  It was a little exciting and scary all at the same time. At one of the stops a little boy came crawling thru the train begging for money, he was missing limbs off of his body.  It was terrible and the first time I had ever seen anything like this.  I tried to give the little boy some food but he resisted.  Later our host told us that there are people, sort of like pimps, who take in orphaned children and cut off the limbs so that when they send them out to be people will feel sorry for them and give money in which they have to give back to the pimp.   I had never heard anything so sick.  I knew that I wanted to adopt kids.   I cannot stand the fact of children growing up on the streets being sold into the sex trafficing industry; among many other horrific things. 

Our heart for adoption is huge. I have been asked many times, "can you not have children?"  My answer is, “I don’t know.”  I went thru a miscarriage in August.  It was so sad and my heart aches when I think about it.  If I were to get pregnant, of course I would be thrilled, but none the less it would not stop me from adopting.   There is something inside of me that knows this is bigger than me, but I know God is with me and that he will provide.  I hope someday, to help others adopt; to give; to be the voice on behalf of kids who are screaming, but are not being heard.  This my friends, excites me.   So I thank all of you who are going on this journey with us.  I am sure I will have my days where I am not excited at all, but that is what blogging is all about right; good days and not so good days. 

freaking out...

Freaking out

Adoption is beautiful.  The day Tysen came to us was by far the best day of our lives. He came off of the airplane @ 9 months old, I could see him coming because there was a little Korean lady who worked for the adoption agency holding him.  His hair was sticking straight up in the air, I knew he had some personality (who wouldn't with that crazy hair).  As the lady was walking towards me I could not contain my excitement, but also the inside I was full what ifs. What if he is scared of me, what if he doesn't like me, what If he screams when he comes in my arms, I even threw up later from all the nerves.  Well the moment the little lady handed me Ty, all my fears subsided.  Ty begin to hug me & hold me & smile like I was his new best friend :)  Little did he know I was.  It was amazing, we bonded instantly;  like we always have known each other :) I am believing and trusting God for the same experience with little Paxton. Thank you all for standing with us as we wait :)

the perfectionist...

There are so many things I love about my life.  My husband, working @ YWAM Orlando, my friends, traveling and my mom.  But one of the things I love most in life is spending quality time with Tysen.  The question is: if I love it so much, why do so many things tend to come first?  Cleaning (the perfectionist takes control of me in this area at times), phone calls, watching "The Ellen Show" :)-  the list goes on & on.

But I am constantly reminded of a poem my mom used to say to me:  "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow; but babies grow up, we learn to our sorrow.  So quiet down cob webs and dust go to sleep.  I am rocking my baby for babies don't keep."

5 years down the road our kids will not remember whether or not we had some dust or cob webs or streaks on the windows.  But they will remember the park, walks, stories, adventures, and kisses. 

"it takes a village..."

Today I have been thinking a lot about 2 very close friends of mine; both of whom have been walking thru very hard situations with their children. One of them was told that her 2 year old was going to have to undergo surgery as the doctors had found a very large tumor inside of one her kidneys.  They were going to go in and cut out some of the tumor to see if it was cancer. From the time my friend received the news she was trusting God, but she needed friends and other moms who could understand the heartache of what she was going thru and to lift up her arms in her hour of need.  And praise God, they have cancelled the surgery for now and are trying some other options.

Another dear friend of mine is sitting in the hospital right now waiting as her 4 year old is getting a full body MRI…

The thing that God has been putting on my heart today, is that sometimes as moms we get caught up in competition; whether it is who has the best snacks for their child’s events, who is the most put together, who has the smartest kids, and on and on it goes.  But really we just need each other to laugh with, cry with, and love each other in good times and not so good times… One of my dear friends Craig Branch once said, via Hillary Clinton, “…it takes a village [to raise a child]…”  I agree.  We need each other more than we know.  So moms, let's be ones who do not give into childish competition and let’s love each other. If you are going through something, chances are so is the mom next to you!

no greater love...

about 3 weeks ago (or so) I remember, it was lunch time and we had just found out about the new rule of having to have the whole $30,000 for the adoption "up front", instead of being able to pay as we went along.  we were so discouraged.  it caught us off guard.  it was like a black cloud came in and sat over our family.  we did the only thing we knew to do at that moment.  we both sat on the floor and prayed the best we could with faith as small as a mustard seed. 

later that afternoon, our friend Alissa from California contacted me.  we met her and her husband while church planing a few years ago.  they are awesome individuals and were a huge blessing to our church community and our friendship was birthed during that time.  she said she had read my blog and that God had been speaking to her about how she could help.  so to make a long story short, starting February 28th, she is doing an online raffle to help us raise money for Paxton.  To read more and see how YOU can be involved, click on the "Rags to Stitches" link on the right!

"No greater love has a man than this, than to lay down his life for a friend..."