About 7 years ago I was at a church (of all places). We were about half way through our adoption process with Tysen. The service had ended and I was walking in the foyer when a lady said to me, “Why don’t you have your own, it is cheaper?” At first I just felt shocked and offended. I believe that I just smiled and walked away. Since that day I have thought of all kinds of come backs: Have you read the bible? Why are you so mean? That is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me! I know that was childish of me. We all say or think things that we are not proud of when we are hurt. But after many years of thinking about it and everything our family has walked through, if I encountered that behavior today, I boldly would say, “because God told me too and it the deepest desire of my heart.”
When I was 18 I had the privilege of going on a 2 month outreach to India with Youth With A Mission. I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. The thing I remembered most was a 30 hour train ride. This was not Amtrak. It was hot. It smelled bad. And there were eunuchs sitting across from me the whole trip. It was a little exciting and scary all at the same time. At one of the stops a little boy came crawling thru the train begging for money, he was missing limbs off of his body. It was terrible and the first time I had ever seen anything like this. I tried to give the little boy some food but he resisted. Later our host told us that there are people, sort of like pimps, who take in orphaned children and cut off the limbs so that when they send them out to be people will feel sorry for them and give money in which they have to give back to the pimp. I had never heard anything so sick. I knew that I wanted to adopt kids. I cannot stand the fact of children growing up on the streets being sold into the sex trafficing industry; among many other horrific things.
Our heart for adoption is huge. I have been asked many times, "can you not have children?" My answer is, “I don’t know.” I went thru a miscarriage in August. It was so sad and my heart aches when I think about it. If I were to get pregnant, of course I would be thrilled, but none the less it would not stop me from adopting. There is something inside of me that knows this is bigger than me, but I know God is with me and that he will provide. I hope someday, to help others adopt; to give; to be the voice on behalf of kids who are screaming, but are not being heard. This my friends, excites me. So I thank all of you who are going on this journey with us. I am sure I will have my days where I am not excited at all, but that is what blogging is all about right; good days and not so good days.